Professor Tanya Byron writes in the Times to a lady whose daughters are against her having cosmetic surgery. She has been discarded by her husband after 35 years of marriage in favour of a younger model. Her face, she feels, wears the strain of spending a life time looking after a husband and children. She wants a face and breast lift but her daughters are "furious" and call her "shallow".
Prof Tanya devotes her response to the question of where the "locus of control" (LOC) of this poor lady lies. Is it outside of herself, which means that she is sensitive to the opinions of others? Or it is inside of herself, which means that she has greater level of personal control and self-determination. With an internal LOC one assumes, she would not seek to define herself via her appearance.
Tanya Byron thence cautions the lady against having cosmetic enhancement, a contentious position to adopt. She says find another interest to occupy your time. What? Visiting old churches?
I feel that Tanya has hidden her personal biases inside a wall of hypothesis and so-called evidence. about "locus of control".
Prof T misses the point. My attention regarding this problem was directed toward the daughters who were furious with the mother. They may well have opinions, worries about the procedures, undue influence from others, fears and concerns about what their mother might become. But by what right do they accuse their mother of being shallow and insecure?
I specialise in the treatment of body image, locus of control issues, contingent self destructive behaviours and everything else to do with a horrible relationship with food and with oneself. But this does not make me against cosmetic enhancement per se. I feel that I have an internal locus of control and possibly also high "appearence schemacity". This means that my self worth is in part affected by looking as good as I can within reason and without being obsessed by it from one minute to the next.
I reflect this by the clothes I choose, the attention I give my hair, my quest to eat a good healthful diet, the vitamins I take, the occasional facial and anything else that I am able to afford. If Prof Tanya does any of these herself then I suspect a little hypocrisy is at play.
So is cosmetic surgery the thin edge of the wedge? No, I don't think so. I would say to this lady "go for it my dear, and tell your daughters where to go". Spend your money on everything and anything you like. If they don't like it, they can lump it, and if they give you a hard time they don't deserve you. Get real, it's tough out there. I hope you find a man who is good to you with your new face and your new breasts and if you need any help with your "locus of control" then get some counselling alongside your new face but not instead of it.
Wednesday, 13 March 2013
Monday, 11 March 2013
Implants for Anorexia Nervosa
Last week the Press around the world reported on some partial success for electronic implants given to people with long standing anorexia nervosa. The research was done in Canada and reported in the Lancet.
Partial, meaning that about 2 in 3 of the people in this small trial had positive results. The research is blighted in part by not having a comparison group of people who BELIEVE that they have had an implant, which might have tested for the placebo effect.
This is a very important piece of news which deserves our attention. To get more of my thoughts on whether this is the next best thing, please follow the link below.
http://eating-disorders.org.uk/news/
Partial, meaning that about 2 in 3 of the people in this small trial had positive results. The research is blighted in part by not having a comparison group of people who BELIEVE that they have had an implant, which might have tested for the placebo effect.
This is a very important piece of news which deserves our attention. To get more of my thoughts on whether this is the next best thing, please follow the link below.
http://eating-disorders.org.uk/news/
Friday, 1 March 2013
Eating Disorders In Boarding Schools
On Monday Feb 25th I gave a talk to a group of 80 teachers, nurses and other representatives of boarding schools across the UK.
Schools are there to educate and help our children to grow and become good citizens and expand their potential - did I miss anything out here?
But kids come along with issues which seriously affect their ability to be present and learn. Eating disorders are more likely to hit in adolescence just at the time when they are facing their exams and the culmination of their years of preparation.
It's clear from the voices in the room that an eating disorder has serious effects. It affects the child, their class mates, their teachers and their brothers and sisters. Schools are ill-equpped to deal with the fall out of an eating disorder and schools are not supposed to be hospitals or treatment centres. When I was growing up, matron was only supposed to bandage a wounded leg or a bump on the head, not to counsel us for "stuff". What are they to do?
I heard some stories about young boys who are drinking protein shakes and exercising excessively to the point where they can hardly stand up. I heard stories about young girls who are making themselves sick and refusing to discuss this with their teacher. I heard stories about kids who are very thin, pretending that they are eating when they are not, and insisting that nothing is wrong with them at all.
Can a school do anything to prevent eating disorders? I am not really sure that they can. Well- meaning education describing eating disorders can do more harm than good. I think that some of you will disagree with me. Anorexia begins, they say, at birth.
Some things might be useful like body image work and media awareness training, emotional reslience work should begin when kids are very young.
And eating disorders are severe, sometimes chronic mental health conditions. They emerge because of slight or serious emotional deficits which can be healed in time with the right treatment. They are not just a silly phase.
Schools should not be trying to treat an eating disorder on their own. A young person with a problem needs urgent long term expert help. A school should be part of a treatment plan that has been designed and written down by someone else.
At any one time, EVERY school will have some pupils with dangerous eating practices. This is never going to change. A teacher or parent who is concerned can access help and information on our website http://eating-disorders.org.uk or call us on 0845 838 2040
Schools are there to educate and help our children to grow and become good citizens and expand their potential - did I miss anything out here?
But kids come along with issues which seriously affect their ability to be present and learn. Eating disorders are more likely to hit in adolescence just at the time when they are facing their exams and the culmination of their years of preparation.
It's clear from the voices in the room that an eating disorder has serious effects. It affects the child, their class mates, their teachers and their brothers and sisters. Schools are ill-equpped to deal with the fall out of an eating disorder and schools are not supposed to be hospitals or treatment centres. When I was growing up, matron was only supposed to bandage a wounded leg or a bump on the head, not to counsel us for "stuff". What are they to do?
I heard some stories about young boys who are drinking protein shakes and exercising excessively to the point where they can hardly stand up. I heard stories about young girls who are making themselves sick and refusing to discuss this with their teacher. I heard stories about kids who are very thin, pretending that they are eating when they are not, and insisting that nothing is wrong with them at all.
Can a school do anything to prevent eating disorders? I am not really sure that they can. Well- meaning education describing eating disorders can do more harm than good. I think that some of you will disagree with me. Anorexia begins, they say, at birth.
Some things might be useful like body image work and media awareness training, emotional reslience work should begin when kids are very young.
And eating disorders are severe, sometimes chronic mental health conditions. They emerge because of slight or serious emotional deficits which can be healed in time with the right treatment. They are not just a silly phase.
Schools should not be trying to treat an eating disorder on their own. A young person with a problem needs urgent long term expert help. A school should be part of a treatment plan that has been designed and written down by someone else.
At any one time, EVERY school will have some pupils with dangerous eating practices. This is never going to change. A teacher or parent who is concerned can access help and information on our website http://eating-disorders.org.uk or call us on 0845 838 2040
Sunday, 24 February 2013
Two Die From Dieting
Laura Willmot dies from anorexic collapse one week after being sent home by her doctors.
In another world, a millionaire's ex wife freezes to death in her car after her wine binge. In a barely noticed throwaway remark, her husband noted that "we ate separately, she was always on one sort of diet or another". Living these separate lives, the couple drift apart. Had they remained together, she would not have met her lonely end in the cold.
Maybe I'm stretching a point about the untimely death of Nicole Falkingham - but no-one has ever looked at the effect that constant dieting has on marital bliss. But from where I am sitting, I can see the toll that is taken by diets, nutritional quirks, men and women chasing hours at the gym in the pursuit of a perfect body and partners left alone at home while one or the other pounds the streets.
Two wasted lives. 1 in 5 people with anorexia are going to die sooner or later. And countless others are going to meet their end directly or indirectly through the need to be thin.
India Knight has written in the Sunday Times of her frustration sitting in group therapy sessions listening to people wittering on about their stuggles with food and weight, psycho-babbling about things that may not really be going to help. I also sat in at one session at a very famous Addiction place listening in growing frustration as the therapist did not intervene in what I felt was a swirl of very toxic talk.
Anorexia is one special illness in which I feel the right of confidentilaity should be suspended. I know that many of you will disagree with me. Please check out more of my thoughts and questions about the death of Laura on http://eating-disorders.org.uk/two-die-from-dieting/
In another world, a millionaire's ex wife freezes to death in her car after her wine binge. In a barely noticed throwaway remark, her husband noted that "we ate separately, she was always on one sort of diet or another". Living these separate lives, the couple drift apart. Had they remained together, she would not have met her lonely end in the cold.
Maybe I'm stretching a point about the untimely death of Nicole Falkingham - but no-one has ever looked at the effect that constant dieting has on marital bliss. But from where I am sitting, I can see the toll that is taken by diets, nutritional quirks, men and women chasing hours at the gym in the pursuit of a perfect body and partners left alone at home while one or the other pounds the streets.
Two wasted lives. 1 in 5 people with anorexia are going to die sooner or later. And countless others are going to meet their end directly or indirectly through the need to be thin.
India Knight has written in the Sunday Times of her frustration sitting in group therapy sessions listening to people wittering on about their stuggles with food and weight, psycho-babbling about things that may not really be going to help. I also sat in at one session at a very famous Addiction place listening in growing frustration as the therapist did not intervene in what I felt was a swirl of very toxic talk.
Anorexia is one special illness in which I feel the right of confidentilaity should be suspended. I know that many of you will disagree with me. Please check out more of my thoughts and questions about the death of Laura on http://eating-disorders.org.uk/two-die-from-dieting/
Wednesday, 20 February 2013
Fatty! You're Fat! Fat, Fat, Fat, Fat!
So says Giles Coren writing in last week's Sunday Times. He feels rather pleased that obesity is now associated with the middle classes. This is based on some research carried out at Leeds Metropolitan University. (Perhaps , he suggests, this is because the poor have been eating low fat low cholesterol meals in the form of all that horse).
He claims that he has been victimised for his anti-obesity stance from left wing liberals who have interpreted his opinions as thinly veiled class snobbery.
The term "Middle Class" used to be used pejoratively, according to Coren, so he suggests that we should now assign the word "fat" to everything we hate. This is because we are no longer in danger of meaning poor people when we use the word"fat".
So why are the Middle Classes now gaining weight. Clearly we can't blame ignorance or bad food any more. Coren blames obesity in part on a failure of moral guidance at a national, non-economically mediated level, propelling us to consume far more of the worlds precious resources than we deserve. Perhaps he is right. When I go into our local cinema I look at all the junk for sale, I ask myself do we really need all this?
On the opposite page in the same paper, Janice Turner writes about our obsession with the appearance of Michael Gove and Teresa May, the Home Secretary, who has just efforfully lost some weight. Why make comment on how they look? Their looks say nothing about their capacity to do their work, which is far more important. Her view is that the tyranny of looks is damaging public life, weakening debate and making poor, disrespectful satire.
At the same time,the erstwhile head of the All Party Parliamentary Body Image group (Caroline Nokes) described the conservative politician Eric Pickles as a jolly fat man. Now that's not right is it, surely she should know better.
So here we have two top rate journalists coming together in a perfect storm about how we should think about people who don't appear normal (weight wise at least). Isnt that soooooo .... fat!
He claims that he has been victimised for his anti-obesity stance from left wing liberals who have interpreted his opinions as thinly veiled class snobbery.
The term "Middle Class" used to be used pejoratively, according to Coren, so he suggests that we should now assign the word "fat" to everything we hate. This is because we are no longer in danger of meaning poor people when we use the word"fat".
So why are the Middle Classes now gaining weight. Clearly we can't blame ignorance or bad food any more. Coren blames obesity in part on a failure of moral guidance at a national, non-economically mediated level, propelling us to consume far more of the worlds precious resources than we deserve. Perhaps he is right. When I go into our local cinema I look at all the junk for sale, I ask myself do we really need all this?
On the opposite page in the same paper, Janice Turner writes about our obsession with the appearance of Michael Gove and Teresa May, the Home Secretary, who has just efforfully lost some weight. Why make comment on how they look? Their looks say nothing about their capacity to do their work, which is far more important. Her view is that the tyranny of looks is damaging public life, weakening debate and making poor, disrespectful satire.
At the same time,the erstwhile head of the All Party Parliamentary Body Image group (Caroline Nokes) described the conservative politician Eric Pickles as a jolly fat man. Now that's not right is it, surely she should know better.
So here we have two top rate journalists coming together in a perfect storm about how we should think about people who don't appear normal (weight wise at least). Isnt that soooooo .... fat!
Thursday, 14 February 2013
Where is Suzanne?
Suzanne who wrote a comment, its taken me a month to read it but I am hoping that you will see my reply....
The Theft Of Perfect Souls: Facebook?
Today I was reading about how girls as young as 11, 12 and 13 are persecuted on Facebook and Instagram etc to perform sexual acts.
They may be encouraged to self harm on camera, they are threatened if they don't do what they are told and they are slagged off if they dont obey.
They can be called slut,s slags and whores. The perpetrators of such horrible abuse can be the boy next door, or the classmate in school or the chap she thinks has been her friend, perhaps someone she played with when she was younger.
We now know that there is a link between the onset of eating disorders and this dreadful behaviour from which they can't escape.
I've already written more about this on our BRAND NEW WEBSITE (hurray!) Please check out what I have said at www.eating-disorders.org.uk - the blog links are on our home page.
Dignity and self respect carry a young woman through the tumult of adolescence and protect her from substance abuse and eating distress. How are we going to protect our children from this filth?
They may be encouraged to self harm on camera, they are threatened if they don't do what they are told and they are slagged off if they dont obey.
They can be called slut,s slags and whores. The perpetrators of such horrible abuse can be the boy next door, or the classmate in school or the chap she thinks has been her friend, perhaps someone she played with when she was younger.
We now know that there is a link between the onset of eating disorders and this dreadful behaviour from which they can't escape.
I've already written more about this on our BRAND NEW WEBSITE (hurray!) Please check out what I have said at www.eating-disorders.org.uk - the blog links are on our home page.
Dignity and self respect carry a young woman through the tumult of adolescence and protect her from substance abuse and eating distress. How are we going to protect our children from this filth?
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